It’s been a while since I had fortune cookies sent with my Chinese food delivery. There were more than a couple of them on my table but for some weird reasons, I do not want to open any of them. There was that unexplainable energy of unpleasantness I felt towards these cookies. It felt like they will tell me something that I do not want to know about.
They are staring at me and screaming to be opened. It was almost deafening. I closed my eyes. Hoping that their scream would stop if I don’t see them. But the screaming was going louder. I opened my eyes and closed my ears. But their lip-like shapes are still screaming and I can read their words clearly. I held my ears still and my eyes too now were shut tight. But my brain drew their images and spelled the words they are uttering; big, bold, loud, and slamming:
“OPEN! NOW! OPEN! NOW! OPEN! NOW! OPEN! OPEN! OPEN! NOW! NOW! NOW!
I turned my back and ran upstairs to my all-time messy bedroom. Jumped onto my bed face down. Covered myself under my winter blanket. I do not care about how much carbon dioxide I was about to inhale. All I knew was that under this cover I could block the screaming of the fortune cookies. At least muffled before my ears break, covered by darkness before my eyes pop out, and fogged out from my brain before it explodes. After few minutes of darkness under the covers, I got dizzy for possibly two reasons. Too much carbon dioxide or that overnight work tired me and put me to sleep.
After 2hours, I woke up to yet the same voices. Tiny, irritating, consistently annoying, in collective disharmony but their words are clear. The voices of fortune cookies with their almost hoarse minute yet loud words. They still want me to open them. It sounded like they didn’t stop screaming even when I fell asleep. I really am good that way, I can doze off at any time of the day, any kind of bed, and type of environment; may it be loud or not.
I prepared and dressed to uniform for another night work but still battling over to open the fortune cookies or not. I walked downstairs ready to leave. I opened the apartment door only to realize that I left my wallet. I went back up, got my wallet, and finally gave into opening one fortune cookie.
“Procrastination is the fear of success.”
-fortune cookie #1
It is past 10 at night and I will be late if I will have to stop and ponder on these words. With the doors still open, I finally stepped out only to find out that I do not have my keys with me. Before I locked the door, I walked back upstairs and found my keys in the inside pocket of the bookbag that I already have on my back. I will be late but the fortune cookie is calling for me again. On my way out this second and hopefully final time, I opened another fortune cookie.
“Don’t just spend time. Invest it!”
-fortune cookie #2
Finally, the tiny, irritating, consistently annoying, in clear words of collective disharmony, and hoarse loud words of the screaming fortune cookies were gone. Because I opened them and they shut their incredibly unforgiving voices.
This time, however, the very words that they have written on their flat white paper surfaces are echoing in my brain. They are asking questions. My brain wouldn’t stop thinking about them. Trying to find meaning. Connecting every word to my current state of being. No answers. Only questions.
Why of all instances would I get these messages? Why now? Am I losing focus again? Am I toying too much with the limited time that I have? Should I be investing in something else besides the one that I already am putting time into? Do I really fear to become successful?
Only I can answer those questions but that is not the point of this narrative. I only want to tell you what was written on the first 2 fortune cookies I opened this 2017. What will yours be?