I Was Ambitious. Yes I Was.

I was ambitious.
Yes I was.
Who is not, if you live:
1.) In a country where dream is not easy to catch and working to get it is losing yourself only to find it consumed with the same dream that you could have gotten years ago only if you were a lot wiser.
2.) In a city where there are too many people who dream the same dreams and most often (than not) are better than yours, not to mention the fact that they are more able and are given more opportunities.
3.) In a neighborhood that seemed to have been neglected thus your work to reach a simple dream remained unnnoticed despite the aches you inflicted on your body “zombieing” towards the sun that does not radiate hope upon you.

I was ambitious.
Yes I was.
Who is not, if your thoughts:
1.) Are contagious like a disease slowly crawling through your head that would not stop; not even in your sleep; not in your dreams.
2.) Are ticking like a timebomb waiting to explode at any moment without your control.
3.) Are endlessly working inside your tired and sleep-deprived brain collecting episodic memories and yet more thoughts are trying to keep the characters, behaviors, stories, and attributes of the people you meet everyday.

I was ambitious.
Yes I was.
I told you that I will be posting every 11th and 22nd of every month, however, with the schedules that I have, I surely cannot keep my promise. Hence, I might have to reorganize how I will schedule new postings on this blog. One thing i can promise, however the changes, I will continue to post more articles.

I was ambitious.
Yes I was.
Two days late from the supposed 22nd of the month, but I would like to share you this poem that I made when I was in Seattle, WA a decade ago. I was on a bus on my way home from working at an environmental non-profit, one afternoon, when I met her. I thought she was really funny and was trying her best to make everyone feel good despite her mental issues. I heard her and I wrote every word she said on my journal. I do not know if she knew I was writing her words. All I remember now is that we shared the bus seat… Now it is your turn to follow her train of thoughts…

The Old Lady Wearing Black Flat Shoes with a Flowery Table Napkin on Her Hands

“Sorry Mr. Guy
Sorry Ms. Lady
La la la la La la la
See, the cover is going down
Now what are you going to do?
My goodness
The cover is going down
It’s going up
My goodness
Lero lero lero lero lero
October tomorrow
First day of the months huh!
Hehehehehehe
Why are we here?
Me, I’m just walking around,
Walking around like crazy
My goodness!
There’s a lot of cars
A huh! A huh!
I will look out the window now
With the old scratch on my knees
I stare so innocent yet
I am with my own assumption of the world
I seem to be here but I am not
You cannot decipher what I have in mind
My goodness!
I am here without anything, alone
Been here many times and you think you know me for too long
A time
I looked
And back to this world.
It’s fulfilling!
My goodness!
I see all unnoticed
Are you Spanish?
The aura, hehehe
I’m from the Philippines and my mom speaks Spanish
For sometime, yes, we are under the Spanish Colony
Pardon, SeΓ±ora… Hahahahahahahaha
Do you want to talk to me before I leave?
And see what happens?
Si SeΓ±ora…
Without my words I am leaving now
Si Ms. Lady
Thank you very much Mr Guy”

I was ambitious.
Yes I was.
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I was ambitious.
Yes I was.
And I am dreaming that you would do one of the above actions, if not all of them.

I was ambitious.
Yes I was.

I still am.

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